Wife Adultery – How to Cope With the Situation
This morning I drank coffee with a friend. He is married and has a daughter. In life there appeared a new woman and he asked me for advice. It was clear that he had already made the decision, and I have only to confirm it, but that’s what friends are for. Around this friend of mine has always been women – pretty women for sex. He always has cheated on his wife and does not consider it as a problem. Obviously wife adultery is also seen in their family. The new girl, however, seemed to be different – he has not have sex with her, and they’ve been dating for almost two months. For him it is a big exception. Apparently she has a different status in his head, he seems to have fallen in love with her.
As we talked, he mentioned something interesting. He noticed that since he saw this woman, things at home have begun to change. He put it this way: “As if I started in my head a program that started looking for cracks in my family happiness.” I think it’s really pretty good description of emotional infidelity: A program that seeks worst in former partner and erase everything good that ever existed. I guess this is a good way to justify infidelity to himself and others.
Some time ago I had noticed that my wife had started seeing just the negative characters of me. As if there were glasses filter. No matter how hard I tried to please her and how much I cared for our family and for her personally, it does not in any way weighs in the balance. She didn’t see it. However, if I have the impudence to say even one word that she doesn’t approve that is immediately noticed, described and categorized thoroughly in “notebook” in her head that says “Wife adultery – reasons to betray my husband.” Sometimes I wonder what’s the point to lay any effort to fix things, then they will not be noticed – still favorites “How good is my husband” simply does not exist. It was replaced by “How better than my husband is my lover.” It would be funny if it was not about my own life.
Wife adultery is a program that once launched, began to seek and destroy everything positive in a relationship. It would have been more bearable if it was only revealing the bad things in the relationship and it brings them out, not to erase the good things in the marriage, right?