I have always wondered what the secret of successful marriage and successful relationship in general is. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and actually I don’t remember the time when we lived as a family. My mother devoted herself entirely to us, her children, and I never saw her in any romantic relationship till the last day of her life. Now, I am living with my partner and we love each other, but we are no longer in love. I hope you understand what I mean. Everything is just a routine, and I have the feeling I am wasting my life. I feel miserable because I am focused entirely on the money, and no matter how hard I am working, I am not satisfied by the money I make.
My partner is also concentrated on the money and works really hard, but again- unsuccessfully. Sometimes I wonder if we had enough money, would we be happier. Is the money real problem in nowadays marriages and relationships? In the past people did not have so much money but I believe they were happier. For sure, they cherished each other more and when there was a problem, they put all their efforts to solve it. Now, when there is a problem in the marriage, people just give up from each other. They divorce and believe the problem is solved.
Our grandparents repaired things that broke; they did not just throw them away. Now, when your phone is not working, you are getting a new one. When there is something torn on your shirt, you are throwing it away. We are doing the same thing with our marriages.
I believe that the real key to successful marriage is when partners don’t “absorb” each other. When they don’t start to look like the same dog – a very well describing expression that will always stay in my mind, coming from the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”. It made me think a lot about my previous relationships. When you are with someone, you start listening to the same music, you start dressing similarly, and definitely you start loosing your personality. And when this happens, everything’s lost. How can you be truly happy when you are no longer YOU! You start expecting more and more from your partner/ husband/ spouse and when this person does not meet your highest expectations, you feel disappointed. You expect someone else to be the reason for your happiness! Sounds familiar, right?!
Having common hobbies also helps maintain the spark in one’s marriage. Couples who have successful marriage share common interest – like dogs, reading, long walks in the nature, traveling, etc. When there is nothing to “glue” you together how can you expect to enjoy successful marriage?