What Emotions to Expect After Divorce
Although Families and Reasons for Divorce Are Different There Are Common Emotions Experienced After Termination of Marriage
Termination of marriage is rarely only a technical act. The process is usually accompanied by many negative internal experiences and emotions. Of course, they are different in different families, but no doubt almost all couples experiencing grief and pain of separation. I have a friend who looked at me straight in the eyes and told me she can’t wait to get divorced with her husband who abused her. She was absolutely convinced she would cope with the situation. At the beginning she was determined that she would fight the emotions and trauma ahead of her. A few months later, she looked completely different – she felt lost and needed assistance, even though her marriage was not a happy one. Divorce can “crash” mentally very stable even at first glance people and others to deal skillfully.
If you are about separation, it is important to know that negative emotions and experiences are completely natural. It is better not to fight them. Accept that often they will prevent you from taking the right decisions and clouding your ability to think rationally.
Grief and sorrow
Grief is natural after the completion of an alliance. Even if it is painful, acceptance of pain and sadness are healthy, because in this way you will admit to yourself that you have fully completed the relationship. Many studies have shown that the experience of divorce is no less sad experience of the death of a loved one. Remember, however, that grief is a beginning of an end. It is possible that at times you feel as if the pain of what happened will never pass. Over time the uncomfortable feeling will fade until it completely disappears. For most people, this period lasts between 18 months and 3-4 years after the divorce. The duration of the recovery period depends on individual circumstances.
Usually emotional crisis goes through different phases:
– Denial of reality;
– Anger towards former partner;
– Experience of reconciliation and haggle with former partner;
– Grief and depression;
– Acceptance of the facts and recovery.
Try to find out at what stage of the process are. Set a goal to go faster through these painful phases to be able to move on.
Shame and guilt
Usually the experience of divorce is accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame. In most cases a person has a feeling that failed, especially if the family was a priority for him. I have friends who told me they feel like their lives seemed to end after separation from loved ones.
Sometimes shame and guilt can so quickly be transformed into anger and even hatred towards former partner that literally can not be realized. So often in divorce partners blame themselves for what happened.
Fear and anxiety
These emotions are associated with the reaction of the human organism to stress that arises as a result of divorce. Strong experiences impede an individual’s ability to perceive new information. When a person is under a lot of stress, his heart began to beat faster, adrenaline rises and may succumb to panic, fear and anxiety. Therefore, when you are in a similar situation, you are not in a position to make serious decisions. Your mind is not sufficiently clean and clear. It is best to wait or look for help and support to make a successful choice if you need to make a decision immediately. Remember that your emotional reaction may be wrong and then regret it.
It is extremely important if you are in a period of divorce, do not you drive this road alone. Call a relative or friend. Seek therapeutic help. Do everything possible not to isolate and connect with people that you trust and that will help to overcome this crisis period.