15 Steps to Adultery – Anatomy of Adultery
Adultery does not happen just like that. A person does not decide impulsively to jump into bed with another partner and betray his/her permanent partner. Adultery is the culmination of many small steps towards infidelity. Each step in itself does not seem serious at all, or at least not much more serious than the previous one. This makes us feel comfortable with each following step and not worry that these small steps will hurt the people who love us.
The following 15 steps of adultery are contingent. They analyze how infidelity arises and develops. They are based on interviews, conversations, confessions and correspondence with many people caught in a situation of infidelity. Our question is: “How does this happen? What were the small steps that led to this situation? “The order varies partly from person to person, from case to case. This is not some theoretical list. These are real steps that have been taken by real people who have cheated and then regret about it. These steps come to you with the price of many broken real lives.
1. Sharing common interests.
“We have so much in common, it is even strange.”
“We both like the same music.”
“He is so spiritually elevated … I was looking for someone with whom to share my spiritual struggles.”
“He’s been in places where I’ve always wanted to go. It was so interesting to listen to him. “
“We both love horses, so we started to ride together.”
“She was the first woman who really loved walking outdoors, even fishing – I was fascinated!”
“He’s done things that I always wanted to do.”
2. Mentally comparing with their partner.
“My partner is not interested in spiritual things, and this man knows so many things that interest me.”
“She was in fantastic shape, attractive and well-dressed – quite different from my wife, who recently did not care for herself.”
“My husband does not want to talk to me – he just comes home from work and sits down to watch TV. Then I met this man who is quite different – gentle, likes to talk, to share things from his life with me. “
3. Meeting the emotional needs.
“He understands how I feel and he offers empathy and understanding, which I needed and was not receiving from my husband.”
“She was there when I needed her.”
“From him I got emotional support that I didn’t get at home.”
“I had this need of attention that at one point I was ready to get it from someone who was a stranger to me – I guess from there it all began.”
“Nobody believed in me before he came. He encouraged me, inspired me and believe in me. “
“My wife is constantly busy with the kids and did not care about me or my work. This woman likes me and thinks I’m important. It makes me feel good. “
4. Opening opportunities to be together.
“I loved going to this work, but once started our friendship, everything began to look better.”
“I thought about the opportunity to be with her all the time of going to work.”
“I found that I think about him when dressed in the morning, wondering if I look good or whether he will you like my new perfume.”
“I went to the gym every week because I knew she would be there.”
“I started going to ski, to be closer to him.”
“Every time I passed her house thinking how I’ll see her on Sunday.”